Getting It Up and Getting It Off:
The Anatomy of Male Arousal
by Beverly Fisher, Slut at Large and Woman of Easy Virtue

The male body has always fascinated me. Women are all soft jiggly curves and lush flesh; men are hard planes and lines, sinew and muscle. Men are smooth and flat where women are squishy and round. Of course, some of the nicest men you’d ever want to meet are also a bit squishy in the middle. None of us is perfect, especially me. I’m far too squishy myself.

But when you get down between a man’s legs, things get interesting. Or, more to the point, you find some interesting things. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I love penises. Testicles are fascinating too... I love fondling them and jiggling them around. I used to ask myself, what’s in there? I mean, I knew that’s where the semen comes from, but is that what gives balls their characteristic squishiness? There’s an inexplicable firmness to them as well. And just how does an erection work, anyhow? I knew that it’s caused by increased blood flowing to the penis, but that didn’t satisfactorily explain the whole process. What is pre-cum? Why do men leak like that? I had no answers, only more questions.

What does a male orgasm feel like? Is it similar to the female orgasmic response? Is it better, or worse? Could I try it, without painful surgery I might change my mind about later?

So I dove into the whole process of learning as much as I could about the male reproductive system and orgasmic response. I even did another of my Slut Surveys, asking all my male slut friends to tell me about their orgasms, so I could find out what I was missing out on. Quite a bit, it turns out. But first I had to understand the anatomy, so I could understand the orgasm.

Cockles and muscles

Men have lots of parts, and all of them have names. The penis is everybody’s favorite part (well, okay, it’s my favorite). The acorn-shaped head is called the glans, and has the greatest concentration of nerve endings, though fewer nerve endings than the clitoris, which are compressed into a much smaller space. Some men have foreskin, which covers the glans and can retract to expose the head. They look like little blind monks wearing cowls. It’s kinda cute, in a bodily function sorta way.

Some of the most sensitive areas of the penis are the coronal ridge, which is the ridge around the head, the frenulum, and the raphe. The frenulum is the underside of the ridge, where the head connects to the shaft. It’s a good place for lots of licking. Hell, the whole penis is good for licking, really. But I digress. The raphe is a raised ridge that runs along the bottom of the penis, from the coronal ridge, down over the middle of the testicles, all the way to the anus. The root or bulb of the penis extends into the body, and can be felt through the rectal wall.

While many animals actually do have bony structures within their penises, humans of course do not (despite getting a “boner”). The penis doesn’t have muscles either (despite being your “love muscle”), but there are muscles attached to the base of the penis. The inside of the penis is made up of three cylinders of spongy erectile tissue which has the capacity to expand to eight times its regular size when filled with blood – creating the erection. Eight times! Two of these are corpora cavernosa, spongy bodies of erectile tissue on either side of the top part of the penis. The other is the corpus spongeosum, which runs along the bottom of the penis and surrounds the urethra. The corpus spongeosum is connected to the glans (that’s the head, for those not paying attention).

The way it works is that the muscles containing the blood supply to the penis are usually tense. As the man becomes aroused, the muscles relax, allowing more blood to flow to the penis. As the spongy erectile tissues fill with blood, the surrounding membrane tightens and pushes the vesicles closed, trapping the blood in the penis. Viagra works by causing those muscles and vesicles to relax. So literally, relaxing is the key to a good strong erection. Erection can be intensified or supplemented by using cock rings, and/or penis vacuum pumps. I’ve seen both used to great effect.

Viva la vas deferens

The testes are the male sexual glands, the balls, the nuts, the family jewels, the cojones. Most men have two, though I’ve met the occasional gent with only one. The sac encasing them is the scrotum, of course. The testes produce sperm and testosterone. Inside each ball is a full kilometer of ducts called the seminiferous tubules, the organs which create sperm. Each testicle produces nearly 150 million sperm ever 24 hours. That’s a lot of sperm. Testes vary in size and are sensitive to temperature; the scrotum retracts and descends depending on temperature or arousal. The testes must maintain a temperature three or four degrees lower than the rest of the body in order to produce sperm. That’s why they hang outside of the body, to keep the temperature low. I’ve heard of doctors telling men who are having difficulty conceiving with their wives to wear boxers instead of briefs, allowing more air to circulate around those puppies.

Though they are sensitive to pain (highly!), many men like the feeling of squeezing or pulling on their scrotums. There are even ball-stretchers used in S&M play that pull the scrotum down, often with weights attached. (I know, ouch! Hey, to each his own.)

I find it fascinating that men make so much sperm, when women only produce one tiny egg every month. It must be pretty hard to get up to that egg, to require so many little wigglers to make the attempt.

The epididymis (say that three times fast) is a holding area in the testes where the sperm produced by the seminiferous tubuoles mature. The sperm stay in this holding area until ejaculation.

The vas deferens are the ducts within the testes that lead from the epididymis to the seminal vesicles. These are the ducts which they cut during a vasectomy procedure.

Heterosexuals like it too

The prostate gland is donut-shaped and wraps around the urethra. It produces some of the fluid that makes up semen. Semen is not all sperm, quite the contrary. The prostate also squeezes shut the urethral duct to the bladder, preventing urine from mixing with the semen and upsetting the delicate pH balance sperm need to survive.

Many men enjoy having their prostate gland and the root or bulb of the penis stimulated through the wall of the rectum. The prostate is located about two inches inside towards the belly. It is often referred to as the male g-spot. I’m amazed at how many men worry that because they like a finger (or something else) up their ass, they might be gay. For those that were wondering, there is nothing inherently homosexual about the asshole.

The anus itself is very sensitive, as there are a great many nerve endings surrounding it. This tissue is very delicate and must be handled gently. The perineum is that small section of skin between the testicles and the anus. Many men enjoy having their perineum stimulated, either manually or orally. Wash it well and you will be rewarded!

The Cowper’s glands are pea-sized and sit just beneath the prostate gland and secrete the pre-ejaculate known as pre-cum. Here’s a fascinating fact: The purpose of pre-cum is to neutralize the acidity within the urethra, protecting the delicate pH balance required for the sperm. Pre-cum can contain sperm, and can also carry the HIV virus.

The seminal vesicles sit above the prostate gland. They produce about 70 percent of the seminal fluid. This alkaline fluid is rich in fructose and activates and protects the sperm after it has left the penis. Semen, in general, is also great for acne, when applied externally, and constipation, when ingested. As an aside, I didn’t learn these particular facts from reading a book.

The ejaculatory ducts are just below the bladder, and the semen travels through them on their way through the seminal glands during ejaculation.

The foreskin debate

All men are born with foreskin, or prepuce, that loose bit of skin at the end of the penis which covers the glans. Circumcision is common in the United States, but becoming less so. Jews and Muslims routinely practice circumcision. There is a significant movement of men and women who are opposed to what they call genital modification. Men who have been circumcised as adults do state that they have less sensitivity in their glans following the procedure.

Those opposed to circumcision have become a very vocal minority. Removing the foreskin is equivalent to removing the clitoral hood on a woman, which would expose the clitoris and fail to protect it, and surely cause desensitization.

The foreskin is not a “flap” of skin at the end of the penis, nor is it useless. It serves an actual purpose. Some of these include protecting the glans from friction and abrasion; to keep the glans moisturized and soft with emollient oils; to lubricate the glans, to reduce friction and chafing during intercourse; and to serve as erogenous tissue because of its supply of erogenous receptors.

Opponents to circumcision point out that after circumcision, the surface of the glans develops a thick, dry layer of tough skin, making it much less sensitive. Additionally, the scar from the circumcision can make erection painful, if too much skin has been removed.

“I was circumcised as an adult,” writes a friend of mine, Mark. “For me, it resulted in less stimulation and thus an ability to last longer before an orgasm.” So for some, circumcision is a positive thing.

One concern and the reason so many circumcisions were performed in the past was that it was thought to be “cleaner.” It is true that a man who doesn’t pull back his foreskin and clean his penis properly ends up with a disgusting yellow-ish white gunk around the glans, called smegma. But these days, parents are able to effectively convey to their sons, without embarrassment, how to properly clean their penises. There is a good case for avoiding circumcision, though the majority of women I know prefer a circumcised penis, especially from an aesthetic standpoint.

Come on now!

The word “orgasm” comes from the Greek word “orgasmos,” which means “to swell” or “to be lustful.” Whatever the word itself means, orgasms are just plain terrific. Male or female, we love ‘em. But I sometimes think men might love them a bit more than women. They certainly are fervent in their pursuit, far more so than women. I heard one man compare the male orgasm to a drug. They certainly do seem to be addictive.

Lots of physiological and neurochemical changes occur during and following orgasm. Just as with women, there are four stages of the sexual response cycle for men. They are arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. The orgasmic stage is the shortest, but most powerful. I think they should add a fifth stage, the pass-out-and-snore phase. But that’s just based on personal observation.

Sexual response can be either psychogenic or reflexogenic. So when you directly stimulate the penis physically, it’s a reflexogenic erection. When erection results from thinking erotic thoughts or just looking at something erotic, a woman’s body, porn, a really good steak, clowns, etc, then it’s a psychogenic erection.

During the arousal phase, either direct physical stimulation or psychogenic stimulation usually causes an erection in just a few seconds. The arousal phase is also characterized by the testicles pulling closer to the body, and a tensing and thickening of the skin of the scrotum. Sperm travels through the vas deferens tube. As it passes through the seminal vesicle and the prostate gland, seminal fluid is added to the mixture. Muscles in the body begin to tense, and blood pressure, breathing, and heart rate increase. Also during this phase, nipples may become erect, and the skin of the neck, face, and chest may redden. This “sex flush” usually occurs in women, though can occur with men. Sensitivity to pain decreases (which is why I’m able to drag my nails across your back and you actually enjoy it). Myotonia, or muscular tension, also occurs.

In the plateau phase, there is a greater increase in muscular tension, increased blood pressure, breathing, and heart rate. The penis becomes slightly firmer. The head of the penis (the glans) turns a deeper red or even purple color, and it begins oozing pre-cum, that slippery fluid that comes from the Cowper’s glands. If foreplay is extended, the penis may become flaccid and then erect again, which is perfectly normal. Even if it stays erect, firmness may vary throughout foreplay. The scrotum continues to thicken and the testes enlarge. Hair may grow suddenly from the ears and soles of the feet. No, not really. Just seeing if you were paying attention.

Peak performance

In the orgasm phase, orgasm usually (but not always) includes ejaculation, which has two stages – emission and expulsion. Emission happens when semen collects in the urethral bulb, the upper part of the urethra. As more and more semen collects in the bulb, the man begins to feel that he is about to ejaculate. That feeling is called “ejaculatory inevitability” and lasts just a few seconds. This is the point where a man has to have an orgasm – there’s no holding it back. The sphincter from the bladder closes at this point so that semen can’t move into the bladder.

Thus begins the second stage, expulsion. This stage involves rhythmic contractions of the pubococcygeus (PC) muscles – the muscles around the base of the penis and the anus – the prostate gland, and vas deferens. The seminal duct system contracts as well. The muscular contractions force the semen down the urethra and out of the body. Usually there are four to five contractions which occur at 0.8-second intervals, and, as with women, the first contractions are the strongest and very intense. Muscles throughout the body contract. The penis becomes hypersensitive during or immediately after orgasm, and most men want less stimulation at this time, though some want heavy stimulation throughout the duration of the orgasm. In my experience giving hand jobs, some men want you to stop and simply hold the penis during ejaculation, while others want continued stimulation.

During orgasm, blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing peak. The hormone oxytocin is released from the posterior pituitary glands. Oxytocin is thought to help strengthen the PC muscle contractions. Endorphins are released that are thought to cause some of the male “addiction” to sex. The endorphin rush is like a feeling of well-being that washes over you, causing muscles to relax. It is, to many, the ultimate high.

What’s it like?

In yet another highly unscientific and ethically suspect Slut Survey, I asked respondents to describe what the male orgasm feels like. One laughed, “Don’t ask for much do you? May as well try to describe falling in love.” Another adds, “The closest a woman can come to feeling a male orgasm and ejaculation is to intensify a sneeze about 1,000 times.”

Writes one man, Gary, “it feels almost entirely confined to my genitals and my head (brain). It’s hard to describe, but to say it’s extremely intense. That intensity is almost all-consuming, taking over your every thought and feeling in a short period of time. The most intense feeling lasts maybe 10 seconds, then it quickly goes away and is completely gone in a minute or so, followed by feeling incredibly relaxed.” He adds, “At this point, if I don’t have some mental stimulation, as well as some cuddling with the woman I’m with, I begin to get drowsy.” See, pass-out-and-snore should be a phase. I knew it.

Another man, John, describes orgasm as a “building process. The closer you get, the more `pressure’ you feel building.” He continues, “There is a point when you’re over the edge, but you haven’t started to ejaculate. It’s the most intense feeling I have ever had. Your body tenses, you feel this huge rush, and literally every thought you have at that moment is centered on that orgasm.” He notes, “I personally try and hold on to that moment as long a possible. If you tense the right muscles you can delay the ejaculation for a bit... which keeps you in that feeling until it happens.”

“Once you let go, a lot of things happen at once,” John continues. “There is a rush of blood out to everywhere in your body. It causes my muscles to twitch and causes my penis to pulse as it’s ejaculating. As the wave moves farther out, my legs tense, sometimes to the point of having a charlie horse (not fun but I sure as hell ain’t stopping). It’s a series of waves and once it’s done your body just kind of all relaxes at once.”

Some respondents reported having full-body orgasms, usually attributed to women. “Depending on the intensity of a given event, it may include a whole body experience,” writes Bob. Notes Greg, “I have whole-body orgasms, the longer I hold off the better it is.”

The amount of ejaculate is, on average, three to five milliliters. Semen contains sperm, in addition to secretions produced by the Cowper’s glands, prostate gland, and seminal vesicles. Each milliliter of semen contains an average of 50 to 100 million sperm. Sperm actually only account for five percent of semen. The rest is composed of albumen, sugars, acids and enzymes that make a nice cushy, pH balanced home for the sperm to live in outside the body. As men age, or if they ejaculate often, the sperm count is reduced.

Some men are able to orgasm without ejaculation. Some people call this a “dry” orgasm, and they’re especially common in men who have prostate disease, neurological disorders, or spinal cord injuries. But men can also learn to have “dry” orgasms, and become capable of multiple orgasms by separating the orgasm process from the ejaculation process. Kegel exercises, or working the PC muscles, helps. Squeeze the muscles as if you were trying to stop urinating. Practice squeezing these muscles several times a day.

One of my Slut Survey respondents described the “dry” orgasm. “It doesn’t have the intense spike,” he noted, “but the overall intensity is higher and seems to last longer. It’s not as paralyzing or energy-draining.” He added that he was able to maintain his erection and continue sex following the non-ejaculatory orgasm.

Another man, Steve, wrote of an experience with a Tantra provider. “With oral, hand, and prostate stimulation, she could induce an orgasm without ejaculation. What did it feel like? Just a pleasant clenching of internal muscles. This went on for six or seven times before ejaculation. Then when it let loose, it felt like gallons rather than a teaspoonful.”

Tantra seems to be a common theme with regard to multiple and dry orgasms. “With one Tantric provider, I had about six orgasms until I ejaculated,” says Mr. Fisher. “This was over a period of about 45 minutes. It was quite good.”

Intensity of orgasm varies, depending on mood, physiology, intensity of desire, psychological factors, level of intimacy, use of antidepressants, drug or alcohol use, overall physical health, presence of clowns, and how long it’s been since the last orgasm.

Afterglow

In the resolution phase, there is usually a complete loss of erection, though not always. The body gradually returns to its usual, unaroused state. Perspiration may actually increase. The penis becomes flaccid in two stages: partial erection is lost right away, and the remainder within a few minutes. Hypersensitivity decreases gradually. Most men go through what’s called a refractory period, which means that no amount of stimulation will cause another erection. The refractory period varies widely from person to person, and a variety of factors can contribute to its length, including age, drug use, emotional state, type of stimulation, physiology, and more. The average refractory period for a young man in his teens or early 20s is only a few minutes, whereas for older men it could be a few hours or even a day or two. But two men of the same age can have very different refractory periods. There have been some studies that indicate that some men are capable of multiple orgasms without experiencing the refractory period.

Many of my Slut Survey respondents reported maintaining erection after orgasm for at least several minutes, and some noted that with additional stimulation they were able to resume sexual activity.

I asked my sweet male sluts if they’d ever experienced multiple orgasms, either with ejaculating or without, such as women do. Responses were mixed. Many never had, but dearly wanted to sample the experience. Others reported that “dry” orgasms are just “no fun” and so it wasn’t something they were interested in learning to do. Most agreed, for a man to experience multiple orgasms in one experience, some if not all of them must be “dry” orgasms. Writes Lee, “I’ve had as many as three non-ejaculating, plus a final ejaculating. There is always a need for a breather, but there have been times when that has been pretty short (a few minutes say).”

Adam writes, “I can have multiple orgasms if I keep with the thrusting so there is always the sensation around myself, and as long as me and my partner can keep going.”

Conversely, John points out that, “although marathon sessions weren’t common, I as once quite able to climax repeatedly. Then, as I aged, I found the truth in that old joke, `I’m not as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was,’ finding that both my interest and my ability to perform encores had faded.”

Erectile Dysfunction

Impotence is the inability to achieve erection, ejaculation, or both. Men with sexual or erectile dysfunction may have a loss of libido, or sex drive, difficulty achieving or maintaining erection, premature ejaculation, failure to ejaculate, or an inability to have an orgasm. It is normal for most men to have difficulty with any or all of these things for brief periods in their lives, and this isn’t considered true erectile dysfunction (ED). When it becomes an ongoing problem over a longer period of time, then the man can truly be said to suffer from ED. It is estimated that 30 million American men suffer from ED, or one out of every ten.

There are a variety of possible causes of ED. Some estimate that 60 percent of ED problems are due to psychological causes, including problems with sexual or performance anxiety, self-esteem issues, or problems with relationships or past traumas. Physiological issues make up the other 40 percent, including high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, depression, hormonal problems, etc. A combination of both psychological and physical problems is very common.

One of my Slut Survey respondents, Gary, writes “I experience ED only if I’m very tired and not taking care of myself. I need plenty of rest, proper nutrition, and plenty of water.”

Others have more serious problems with ED. “I have tried various pills for it with limited success,” writes Bill, a diabetic.

John writes, “I presently suffer from ED and have not, as yet, either seen my doctor or tried any restorative type of product. In that it’s causing much frustration for my girlfriend and me both, I will soon work up the courage to call on a medicine man’s expertise for a solution. I have a family history of diabetes, high cholesterol and high blood-pressure, so one (or all?) of these is likely to be the root of the problem.”

I know of many men who have difficulty with ED because they take a certain class of anti-depressants, including Prozac, Paxil, Celexa, and Zoloft. A good alternative is Wellbutrin, which is an excellent anti-depressant and has been shown to avoid the sexual side effects some of the others cause. Quite a few medications used to treat other illnesses can contribute to ED. So-called recreational drugs can also cause ED. Some of these drugs are alcohol, cocaine, marijuana, as well as legally prescribed medications, including anti-depressants, anti-androgens, antiarrythmics, barbituates and narcotics, nicotine (smoking), benzodizepines, H2-blockers, and antihypertensives. Never stop taking a medication without checking with your doctor first.

There are a variety of treatments for ED. Medications such as Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis are very popular right now, but sex therapy or counseling may also be just as beneficial. Some men use something like Caverject, a shot administered to the side of the penis, which causes increased blood flow. Others use a vacuum pump. Still others opt for surgical methods, including an internal pump or inflatable rods. Some men use Yohimbine, an herbal alternative to such drugs as Viagra. Hormone therapy has also proved successful in some men, who take testosterone. A new drug called Muse is available, which inserts a tablet of alprostadil about an inch deep into the urethra. Erection usually occurs within eight to ten minutes, lasting almost an hour.

Mark has tried Cialis, and adds that “being with a lady who understood the Tantric Arts made a great difference for me when I was experiencing some erectile dysfunction.”

In the case of premature ejaculation, there are a variety of techniques for combating this problem. In Tantra, it is recommended that the male employ a variety of breathing techniques, or place the tongue against the roof of the mouth and breathe slowly through the nose. Others suggest squeezing the head of the penis or the balls until the sensation passes, or use a thick condom to decrease sensitivity. Some doctors are even prescribing anti-depressants, which inhibit sexual desire, as a treatment for premature ejaculation.

Gary notes, “Premature ejaculation has been a problem I have experienced my whole adult life. Only in the last eight years or so have I begun to gradually overcome it. Things that have helped me a great deal are being very relaxed, exercising my PC muscles, and deep breathing. I’m a beginning Tantra student, this helps a great deal.”

Steve adds, “In my dating days, I’d masturbate a time or two before the date. Or just have lots of sex. The shorter the interval between ejaculations, the less the problem happened.”

A final suggestion from Bill: “I’d yell `stop moving!’ which worked pretty well.”

A rose by any other name

I have a slang thesaurus. Now, the first thing you do when you buy a slang thesaurus is look up all the naughty parts of the body. It’s like some kind of slang thesaurus law. Now that we’ve thoroughly explored all of the proper names for male physiology, it’s only right to look at some improper terms, too.

If you look up “penis,” you find practically a couple hundred terms, including the tried and true cock, prick, dick, dork, pecker, and peter; also the venerated John Thomas and Mr. Happy. Yet you’ll also find more unusual names, like redcap, yang, pike, rod of love, hotchee, and my personal favorite, dangling participle.

Similarly, a search for “testicles” turns up balls, nuts, rocks, stones, cajones, eggs, marbles, boo-boos, ears, basket, Rocky Mountain Oysters, and swinging steak, to name but few.

When we love someone, we give them little pet names, diminutives that underscore our affection. So it is with the male genitalia. We love the penis and testicles, we really do. We give them cute little names to show we care. Many men name their penises. Such fondness is touching, if not a little silly. But only just a little.

We venerate the penis, raise it up (oh dear) as something special, something profound and powerful. And despite what some feminists might have you believe, the penis really is pretty wonderful. It’s important. So much is made of the female orgasm these days, that I think we’ve forgotten the importance of the male orgasm. That men experience feelings that are equally as profound as women’s, feelings as intense and pleasurable. Through orgasm we have the ability to achieve an amazing emotional connection with our partners. This connection is not just in the woman’s purview, but is in the realm of possibility for men as well.

As we come to understand one another, emotionally and physically, we can connect on a deeper level. Our bodies become instruments of our thoughts and feelings, capable of expressing deep caring and commitment. And that, beyond the orgasm itself, feels really, really good.

Or, we could just have a really terrific fuck and be done with it.

 

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